g'day

four grps/people asked me for ice age yesterday. Is ice age that good??!! Sigh. this pair, animation and $7.50, dont really go along well with me.

met up with agent & george & chipmunk (all undercover) yesterday for lunch @ city hall. made friends with two of chipmunk's and georges' friends. talked to the girl for abit and it was time to be off. sigh couldnt spend more time with them. but anyway the girl S asked for my number from chipmunk. she wanted to intro me to two of her other friends who are in NUS (seniors) FASS.and i just said like only one sentence to her when i met her.. haha. she's real sweet :)

i love meeting new people. that being said, i have a campus crusade camp to go to next week from mon-wed! JT and J's comin along too.. oh and Laura Or! hahaha am lookin forward to it ;)

i have a sudden urge to go cycling. or rather, to the beach. anyone interested?

friendship

i used to believe i was right, but maybe i was blind then. mayb i had been wrong all along.

wrong, that people would easily open up, share themselves, take the time to appreciate, be willing enough to care. i refused to believe that many are the opposite of this. but what if the it was true? what if wanting to see the best in you, to concentrate on the best in you, is just plain avoidance to the fact that the things that i see as flaws walked hand in hand with your best? that it couldnt be avoided all along because it would hinder a blossoming friendship?

am i naive to think that everyone works hard to change themselves to be a better person tommorrow? to place the interests of those arnd them first? to make a good friend feel as comfortable as possible, as loved as possible... to care deeply for them as if they were jewels on a crown?

whenever i find a good friend, i find more than a diamond. i find something that is priceless. arent friends supposed to build each other up, to support each other, to share things thats laid in their heart, and never hold back?

isnt that the small print on a new page of a friendship? - to be a contributor, a confidante. fun fills the cover, yes, but secrets fill the pages, and a lock seals the lips.

right now the pages are still pretty much blank in my memory of you.

but you know what, i know you have your reasons. or mayb the feeling isnt mutual. or mayb my idea of friendship is flawed. i mean, everyone expects different things from a friendship. mayb our ideals are clashing.mayb we hav different perspectives on friendship.mayb girls see it differently. mayb you have a different way of showing care to a friend. mayb im just so wrong about this whole thing. there are so many possible reasons.but in any case, i want something real. something honest - without all the held back words and emotions. i want participation. enthusiasm keeps me going. any lack of it leaves me dying. i get my energy off people.

relationships dont grow overnight. they need to be watered, nurtured, effort has to be put in. you dont just stand by if you want a flower.

if i dont see the other hand clapping, i see no motivation to keep clapping also. because soon, i'll get exhausted. right now, i'm just rly tired. not only you. and i see tiredness as a form of something.. something slowly dying.

you said that you havent changed much. i think that was the problem - i think i wanted you to change, or at least get the hint. sigh. mayb it's just a part of you i can't accept - nonchalancy. thats why we clash.

mayb we're just too different people wanting different things.

if it really is dying, i want to tell you that.. i had good times while it lasted.

mental note: 1) i need to be more accepting. to learn to appreciate the traits found in every friend. thats what makes a friend an individual. and then, i need to learn how to live with the different traits found in different pple.
2)i need to eliminate all expectations of a friend, or i would not be loving unconditionally. if a friend has nothing to offer, would i still be a friend to that person? God, fill me up with your love, because only You can cause me to love like tht.
3)friendships are not selfish. theyre selfless. i consider me selfish writing this post.because i knw im wanting something from you.

dont change because of this. i must change instead.

Help me, Jesus.

Happy Birthday Lyanna!

met Hannah and Joel for lunch today. Interesting lunch i had. I had great fun with you guys!!! wall/mall, cowboy on a horse, the bullet... etc.. it was memorable. thanks :) (i know you guys are reading this) then it was transformers with elnaam lyanna max and jon tan. thought that it should have had a higher rating, like NC 16 or smthing. they defn had some nasty puns.. (lol elnaam had to make it explicit) & then lyanna's birthday dinner at hotpot culture (guess how they derived tt name- one pot, different cultures) LOL. me & jon were laughing at it hard. it's amusing.

anw lyanna broke the pinnata that took super long to make... hahahha. all the newspapers & glue & hard work gone in a smash... lol.

sleepy aft the movie.. so dinner just kinda passed in a blur for me. i dont think i ate 20 bucks worth of stuff due to the 4 cups of ice lemon tea which filled me up.

yawn. tired.

agents at work.

one of the more interesting convos..


Divinia says:
joy f.
are you coming tmr.
you better be.
or i'll..
i'll..
tell CIA who you really are.

joy f. says:
you'll?
OH NO
NO, YOU WOULDNT

Divinia says:
yes.
i'll betray.
i'm sorry.

joy f. says:
that serious?!?!

Divinia says:
but i HAVE TO.
yes.

joy f. says:
you leave me no choice

Divinia says:
command from the top

joy f. says:
i mean
Divinia says:
the meeting tmr is of importance
urgent.

joy f. says:
its a matter of life and death here
Divinia says:
yes. your life.
so you better decide well.
furthermore, during your funeral, tomato juice will be split on.. your..
you knw where.(shirt)
so if you wanna look glam and die late,
come tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
THIS IS A TOUGH CHOICE
sry capslock was on hee
i shall betray u first! muhaha
Divinia says:
you .. you .. YOU...
you wouldnt dare
cos..
i got the tomato juice
as my weapon
for tmr.
joy f. says:
OH NO
not the dreaded thing
traumatizing experiences are returning to my memory
Divinia says:
yes. i'll torture you like tht.
so,
better not betray me
joy f. says:
no
Divinia says:
no?
so
you agree?
or disagree?
youre being very vague here agent 398273
joy f. says:
AHAA
u leave me no choice agent 12389-148-5
i hope u like my nick(evil dive)
heh
Divinia says:
i take it as dive.
i hope there's no other negative connotation to it
joy f. says:
heh
spelling error laa (evil divi)
Divinia says:
this.
spells.
WAR
joy f. says:
WAR IT SHALL BE
fine i'll go tmr
BUT
u may have won a battle, but you'll lose the war ;d
Divinia says:
stop thinking that that statement was smart.
it's .. stupid.
look at my nick (joy is evil-er than mojojojo and the brain (and pinky) and tom (and jerry))
i hope you think twice and surrender before your rep. is ruined
joy f. says:
ohMG
that is epic
Divinia says:
of course. i wrote it
joy f. says:
EPIC FAIL I MEAN
hahahha
:)
all of em are harmless lil lovable cartoon villains
Divinia says:
i'm comparing you to
childishness
=)
i'm glad you notice that
joy f. says:
eh look at mine :) (divi is more evil than george bush - btw i dont think george bush is evil leh lol)
Divinia says:
OMG.
youre..
dead.
so dead.
tmr.
so so dead
(eh joy wear a dress tmr ah)
so so dead.
i'm gna kill you and chop you to pieces
joy f. says:
what dress
thats so random LIOL
Divinia says:
lol
(shhhhh )
(this is a secret convo)
(in brackets)
joy f. says:
(i wearing skirt)
Divinia says:
(we can't let our personal friendship get in the way )
(of our line of work)
joy f. says:
(true. i love u)
I HATE YOU
BOO
Divinia says:
ME TOO.
ARGH
YOUR STUPID NICK
IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS WRITTEN
joy f. says:
HAHAH
Divinia says:
hahaha
joy f. says:
its abt u what
of cos its stupid la
-.-
(dont cry darlin g)
Divinia says:
okay fine. you win this. but be sure, i'll get my revenge..
(i dont have the heart to take revenge on you dear sweet munchkins)
joy f. says:
(awwww)
HAAA LOSER
Divinia says:
you were a loser before, let me remind you.
anw,
i'm gna head off to complete another mission
can't be bothered with your sily talk.
(i'll miss you so dear.. wish my luck)
i've got more impt stuff to do.
joy f. says:
(i cant wait to see u)
SHOO

Dee-Hannah Day

slpover/shopping was awesome. stayed over at her grdma's place, so got to knw her grdma a lil more after chatting. and of course, Ashley!

botanics and fort canning soon, and ECP? and of course, loads and loads of Jeraldine Seah Shu Jing ;)

i'm rly glad you're back and well.

___________________________________________________________________

i've figured many things out these past few days of staying at home & reflecting... managed to scrap out the colour to cherish once again what truly lies beneath, whts so essential and important. like, the material beneath the paint, which, although is often hidden, is so vital in giving the paint it's body.

it's time to get back to the core of relationships again, the things that really build, instead of just momentary laughter. it's time to take the lives of individuals seriously. to impact, and not just to tickle.

it's time to start noticing the neglected.

waiting

i wait for the summer
like a daffodil awaiting for a sunlit sky
i wait for the summer
like a cacoon struggling to finish it's phase
i wait for the summer
with a belief that winter would be kind to me
i wait for the summer
with a belief that eventually, the frost of this world would break free.

when summer comes,
snow pieces will melt to become as one; a river
when summer comes,
trees, plants, flowers will reach their full potential
in beauty, and in fruitfulness,
their processes speedily working to replenish the little that we heaved.
when summer comes,
everything is exposed
snowtops vanishing
to a permenent disclose.

truth will rejoice at the gain of it's upper hand
the glare of the sun his constant friend

but for now-
will i survive this dreadful wait?
please Lord let my character not be at stake...

look who's back

Hannah's back!!! =) went to the airport ytd to see the Cebu pple back (AUDREY!!), ate at Sakae with a couple of pple and then waited for Hannah's arrival. tried to hide behind a wall and told gabe and laura to tell her i couldnt make it but gabe betrayed me. so operation 839284 failed. =( anw after a million hugs and after talking about the physical changes tt happened with us (she grew taller i think and i got darker) we parted ways cos by then it was rly late... almost 11. so tt ended my 8th hour at the airport.





made a new friend in the airport ytd - Kimchi! haha. gabe's gf. had a great time knowing her. felt as if we met before. she said i looked familiar.. mayb theyre a couple of me-lookalikes in town. who knws. haha.





i've been eating so much recently -methinks to recover the loss of eating at church camp when i had diahhorea- but thats not the worst news.. i've been eating junk food to recover tt loss!!! i'm now officially sick of it. Sakae was a good change.





last week was hectic! met up with pple everyday. was quite exhausting. but fun. i still have a checklist of pple i NEED to meet up with .... if only the hols were a tad bit longer. heh.





church camp was good. i hope my buddy comes back to visit and gives me dance lessons. hahah. her waltz and chacha was terrifico. but more imptly, i was so encouraged by her enthusiasm for Christ and all her experiences and everything.. she reminded me once again why i respect old pple so much - their wealth of knowledge and wisdom can't be compared to the little that youths know... it's amazing how God created this need between youths and older folks for one another. keeps us connected and makes everyone needed in the Kingdom =)



looking forward to the week ahead =)