Mirroring 2008

I would say that 2008 has been a VERY eventful year for me.

Firstly, the A levels. Everyone says that it's the most challenging exam ever, & no doubt, it was draining. But i am thankful- this exam was kinda life changing for me.

God proved Himself faithful each step of the way. I'm not what you call a very smart & intelligent person, (my IQ being below average in that facebook test) in fact my teachers in pri. school have always labelled me as a 'dreamy' girl. Frankly, I wanted to give up during that final stretch cos i felt that i wasnt good enough. Many of my friends around me were talking about prestigous Unis all around the world, and inside me i knew that if i could make it to NUS (whatever arts course they have..), I'd be happy & grateful. Although i strove for A's, and did my best to do well, i always fell short whenever i compared myself to my friends (i know i shouldnt compare but...). I knew that competition would be really stiff during the A's. The thought about giving up came to me two/ three times before and after prelims, but God intervened by sending the lyrics 'Lord to give up i'd be a fool' into my mind whenever i felt inadequate. He started speaking to me through my parents, friends,sermons, devotions & songs in schl... He did not give up on me, not once.

I knew there and then that i should not give up too, because He was on my side, and with Him around there is nothing to fear. Just like the way He held my hands through the O levels, He held mine through the A's. I knew i kinda screwed up some papers (i think), but the overwhelming peace He brought calmed my anxiousness. Throughout the A's, i knew that i had to totally depend on Him because if i did it alone... not only would the results suck, but it just wouldnt be the same. It just wouldnt be as joyous, as meaningful, it would just feel as if youre doing it for your future, which is totally stupid, cos my future wouldnt be great without God in it even if tons of money came my way.

I wanted to do my best because i wanted to make Him smile, and make sure that the miracle He made for me to come to this wonderful school wouldnt be wasted. I wanted to be very sure that i would be walking in His perfect will in the future-- I didnt want the perfect plan He had for my life to change with a silly divinia going towards another direction. God had an amazing plan for my life, something way better than what i would imagine, (and the same applies to YOU) so why not i go grab it, and cling on to it tightly?

I am so proud to say that with God's strength & tons of encouragements, i finished the race (th A level race that is) and no matter what shapes or alphabets will the results take on, I will rejoice :)

the A levels sure took up alot of my time in 08-- that explains for my long post.gotta ciao! more reflections coming soooon....

beyond a face

you ask what do i see in you



i say: i see a bright wonderful future. full of promise- untapped potential waiting to be unlocked; revealing the moutains of gifts -a true reflection of the person that Christ intended for you to be.



i see tens of thousands in the body of Christ doing their specific task, faithfully -no matter how big or how small- each just means so much to the Kingdom. beautiful souls working in harmony- each one in line with their calling.



i see a precious soul, made for intimacy with God. the joy, fufillment & peace you get from the relationship makes you crave for so much more, you cant help run into His open arms.



i see miracles happen through you like it's the norm. dead men rising with the rising of one's faith. hearts open with the proclaimation of truth- evading the lies of the devil, revealing the truth that was once disguised.



i see increasing dependency, decreasing independence. rules that once restrict now brings freedom. you cant live without Him because you know that you'll be nothing without Him. i see a carefree life being led when all burdens on your shoulders are lifted, so that you can dance freely with your Father-- Him guiding you each step of the way-- each movement marking a chapter in your life.



i see you living a life of confidence -not in yourself- but in the Father. the life of a winner, just because of that act of submission & the offering of your life to Him.

it ain't easy, but it's worth it.

i see all of you as shinning stars with a twinkle that never dies. when the city lights threaten to take your place, shine brighter. this world needs something real, something that is of permenence. the street lights can never be depended on-- electrical faults do happen. but God holds the stars in His hand-He will never let His stars fall-- He will only let them go higher, higher,till heaven is found...

the lego crisis-
figuring out the parts that dont fit.

i have seriously never felt like before.

you dont fit into my life,
so i hope to get you out of my thoughts - asap.
but why, oh why is it so hard

on another note, i'm still pretty bothered by the old deleted blog of mine. :( it held many opinions, thoughts & ideas of mine tt i really wanna retreive now.& the poems! ughhhhh......

a passing season

it's winter in my soul.
cold frosty foggy hungry
but,wait a refreshing is awaiting,
coming soon

till the sun lifts the unnerving temperature,
i'll be seeking. i'll be clinging.
i shall never stop till the snow melts,
and spring resumes.

reason for the season

'Jingle bell rock' echos in the air, while the bustling street moves to the beat of the music. the beautifully lighted orchard road celebrates 'candy'- the manufactured theme of the year. people walk aimless, scrambling for a proper present to buy for their loved ones. some just for the fun of it, some just out of obligation, few to show their appreciation, many just going with the motion. christmas. a time to raise their wine glasses, to spend off bonuses, to partaye till dawn. most people are able to relate to christmas. the two lovers under a misltetoe, the gathering of all families for a reunion (just to rekindle that special spark between them that was fading in between christmases :(), the kids and their toys, or simply excitement that surprises create to conjure the lovely feeling of being loved.... even if many do not appreciate the aforementioned, it's safe to say that most would gladly treat christmas as a well-deserved break from their very-hectic schedule that ate up most of their year.

underneath that commercial make-up of christmas, a King was born. the quiet fullness of the Baby's presense reflected His humble beginnings. This Light that came gave hope to the darkness.He came to make our life beautiful & rich. He came so that He might help navigate us to His eternal Kingdom. the greatest gift of Love came down, so why are so many rushing through christmas making sure that everyone gets a gift? yes, giving is all important. but shouldnt we be recieving too? to stop & gaze at the greatest Gift, to sit at His feet and worship Him...to receive, to fully receive of His love so that we may have plenty to give to others. i want to grasp the full meaning of Christmas this year. i dont want it to turn out like other christmases.

so i shall start by seeking Him.

they recognise the man covered in a red coat, but they dont recognise the Man who gave up His life to cover us in red.

proposal

the extraction of the heart- is that so hard to do?
the painted faces, fronted covers...
a smile as a disguise.

transparency, untainted intentions..
exposure. entertained by a trusted friend.
is that so hard to find?

a willing giver, a spontaneous receiver.. the two hands that clapeth.
oh imagine the beautiful music it'll make, the collision of the two faiths yielding to their common call.
a finger doesnt make music,
giving their all- the palm family, five in total- does the trick.

forget about the fear of rejection, put away the imagination of suspicion- there will only be love & unconditional acceptance.
i bet everyone is seeking.
but who is willing?

trust is hard to find nowadays when the heart displays callousness.