questions with (thankfully)answers

i ask myself why.

1)why am i not passionate about music, when i know the obvious consequence of this- a stagnation of the development of skills, my potential fizzling out as moments go by. why can't i love music more than i'm loving it now.

but i figured; loving something too much would present a danger of overthrowing the Person on the throne of my heart. i've heard of many stories. i guess that is why subconciously i have chosen to stay away.

2)why can't i plan ahead,my head not crafting that amazing future, one that i can be so supremely proud of when someone questions about my ambition.

at this point of my life, the pressure of choosing a path to take leading to my future gets to me. many actually expect me to know what i want, to have at least a hint what i would like my future to be. when i answer 'i have no idea', a blank stare follows.

this whole incident would get me feeling that planning my future should be the most important thing on my list.

but thats when i get stopped in my tracks.
by Him, by my parents....

why should i be pressured to feel anxious?

the reason why i have no answer for anything regarding my future is because, the next move i'm gna take has not been revealed by my Personal Planner. unless He says move forward, i will not budge.

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the next act of my life would be revealed this friday (presumably). the curtains would be pulled back, with me the observer watching with great anticipation. gladness would burst forth no matter what the Director has planned in His script, for i have enjoyed every part of the acts that went by(therefore having every reason to by so thankful), and am certain of the Director's best in the ending.

without Him, the show cannot go on.